Which is so true for my case indeed.

Evolving into someone I loath. Why am I not holding up; such disappointment to myself. :(

Off day, cut hair. Spike? :D HEH. But then everyone's saying no. WHY? :(

Numerous signs that spell give it up. I should be heading down that way, and maintain that direction.

I'm still slogging. Been meeting wife at least once a week. She put the notes right in my life, after what has happened. Oh, and I've met her boyfriend more than I ever did imagine I would. Wtf, surprising how life manages to make things take a 360degree turn. :D

Living life on the high note! :D Just that something keeps tugging at my heartstrings. Its impossible and I know I've convinced myself that, but why am I still acting otherwise? :(

Hot cold hot cold. Yes no yes no. Come and go, just as you wish. Sigh, why is everything so mixed up.

People do stupid things when they're stone. I do the stupidest ever thing lorhs. Wtf, I should really stop driving. Epic fail man. Forgot to wind down the window wtf. Cash card stolen. Thank god its was at my condo wtf. Luckily its just the cash card wtf and not the whole car. I'm a failure wtf. So so true. Epic fail wtf.

The talking point of scandals. Hahaha, its quite hilarious what people can conjour up sometimes.

Make it a point. :D This, is for my twin. Like I've said, I am and I will. Lots of love. Muchmuchmuch love.

"She wears short skirts,
I wear T-shirts.
She wears high heels,
I wear sneakers.
Dreaming about the day when you wake up;
And find what you're looking for has been here the whole time."

"I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night,
I'm the one who makes you laugh.
When you know you're about to cry,
And i know your favorite songs,
And you tell me about your dreams,
Think I know where you belong,
Think I know it's with me..."

"If you could see that I'm the one who understands you,
Been here all along so why can't you see.
You belong with me,
Standing by and waiting at your back door,
all this time how could you not know.
Baby....
You belong with me."

"Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans,
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be.
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself,
Hey isn't this easy."

"Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you,
Been here all along.
So why can't you see,
You belong with me.
Standing by and waiting at your back door,
All this time,
How could you not know,
Baby you belong with me;
You belong with me."

Busted $90 bucks for something that smells like her. Maybe I should hit myself for it.

Sigh, seems like you hate me. Each time we're scheduled to meet, you find some way to squirm out. To date, been a month since we've met. We were suppose to meet on my birthday, but I waited, you never came. No message to wish me, nor was there a call. I'm not even hoping for a present now. After all, I know what you gave her, and the effort and cost of it, so much surpress everything and anything that you've given me in the past years. Sigh. Do you really hate me so much? It's been 3 years, after all. Do I deserve being treated so coldly? Each time you did that, I try my best to maintain the kindness, but I don't know. It doesn't seem to pacify you at all. Sigh...

Letters, written.
But never sent...

Wishes, hoped.
But never fulfilled.

I can't bring myself to hate, but I can't help the constant pangs of jealousy.
And reminders of what it used to be.

Its the mark of a week, but baby haven't talked to me yet. Sigh, I miss her like mad, and so wanted to find her in school. But I know she'll hate me for it. That's why, I'm at home, patiently awaiting for her call, which I assume will never come. She's not on msn, meaning she's out. With whom, its guessable. I miss her so much. Baby, when is it enough time? :(

Doesn't feel like my birthday at all. I miss her so much. Yet I know I can never ask her to come at all. I wonder what are you doing, if you are aware that I'm missing you like crazy. I desperately want you here with me. No amount of celebration makes me happier than having you here. For this 21st, my only birthday wish is that we are together again, and the future that we had built for us, would come true. I love you.

She never came. Hopes high but knew it wouldn't happen. Sigh. I miss her. :(

Woke up again a few times in my sleep. 4am, 5am, 6am, before finally 730am which I can't get back to sleep at all. Sigh, I miss my girlfriend. :( Saturday is the only thing that I'm counting down for, not even for my birthday. Birthdays are always worth looking forward to, but not this year. No girlfriend to celebrate it with cause we are not supposed to meet for a week. Sigh, she'll be celebrating Michelle's birthday though, and that day, is supposely the end of the week break. I really really miss her.

Desperately finding a job sothat I can have more time for you. BUT NO ONE WANTS ME :( All the resume that I've sent out come back with negative replies or do not respond at all. I'm so desperate for you now, I can bear to not have a job and just have you, but I have such jaded family life. I don't know what I can do. Please help me :(

On MC, but have to return to work tomorrow. Broke a teeny part of my promise to have no communication with you, but it wasn't about anything to do with our relationship. I really meant to just tell you about the show. Sigh, hope it did not affect anything. Anyhow, have been thinking of resigning my job. I hate my job, it has created so much problem. It made me lose the most important thing in my life, the only thing I ever wanted at all. Now I miss her so badly, but there's nothing I can do knowing that her heart is with someone else and they are both in union, just like how we used to be. I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING NOW. I HATE HATE HATE MY JOB. I JUST WANT TO BE IN THE FUTURE THAT WE HAD ONCE CREATED. I'm depressed, and I've never been s afraid in my life before, even when it was tests. Please make it right, please.